Джун Голдщайн – Дисциплина

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That's a huge topic and it's a word that I dislike. I call it, "How to help children make good decisions." I mean we use the word discipline, but my feeling of what it is, is how to help children make good decisions. [01:22:00] There are some boundaries around that. So the way that we would use discipline or help make good decisions would be around the three laws of the school. We have three laws, and we call them laws so that the children will take them seriously. One is you may not hurt someone else's body. You may not hurt someone else's feelings, and you may not hurt someone else's work. So pretty much everything that we do is derived from those three things, coupled with a big dose of respect for each other, respect for the environment, respect for teachers, respect for things, things people, yourself. When we're talking to children, and try to redirect them in what we're doing. Yesterday, children playing with trucks, and they were going around and around the classroom really fast and having a fabulous time. Some people might feel that that's safe; some people might feel like it's not safe. In general we let children do things like that when they are being safe with their own bodies and other peoples bodies. So these two little boys were playing this together. Then they go to the point where they were ramming the trucks in the wall. So you might think, well that might break the truck, or you might think, that might break their heads. So we talked with them about being safe with the trucks, and making sure that the trucks don't break. And we talked with hem about doing it in a safe way because it got to the point where they were racing around for the trucks to come to the wall, but their heads would come to the wall first. So first I said something to them, I said, "Oh that isn't safe to do that way, so you can keep doing it, but just be safe. Don't hit your head on the wall, which you think would hurt, but it wasn't really a deterrent. So this continued, what we might say is, you have two choices, you can either use the trucks and use them in a safe way, or you can decide to play with something else. Which are you going to pick? [01:24:00] If the one that they pick is still hitting their head, than a teacher decides for them. And says, "You're done, because you're not being safe." Give them chances to refine their behavior, and have it be their decision. Sometimes if something is very unsafe, we just decide for them immediately, but the way we look at it is that if the never have a chance to try it again and get it right, if they are told right away that they can't use it anymore, than they're not going to get it right. They need to practice with doing it the safe way. And then we give them a lot of positive feedback in having made a good decision, or about sharing, or about cleaning up the milk that they purposely spilled on the floor, any number of comments like that. We also help the learn to make better decisions, and there for have less discipline issues. By using what we call natural consequences. If you spill your milk over on top the floor your going to get the paper towels to pick it up. If you're going to keep hitting her in the head with the block and not listen to a teacher that's saying that's not safe, than you're not going to get to play with the blocks. If you rip up a page in a book, and then a teacher reminds you that that's not taking care of the book, and that's not ok to do here, if you keep doing that than may be you're not going to read books. What ever is going to happen is directly related to what you are deciding to do. So if you rip a page in a book, and then you don't again, than a teacher will say to you, wow you're taking really good care of that book now, did you see this book? This is a great book and it's mine, can I share it with you? Then you get to be reinforced with a behavior that's super important because it's somebody's personal book. So we try to leave every interaction with, you got it right. And you can do it better, and I bet next time you're going to do it. So if a child is given a break from something because the couldn't "get it right" Then we might say to them, take a break for five minutes, and I bet in five minutes when you try again you'll get it right. [01:26:00] Because the way for them to really change their behavior is by having the memory, and of having the good feeling having done it right, not the you can't play with that for the rest of the day. That's not going to necessarily teach them anything. If the goal is to make them feel punished and feel bad, than that will work, but since the goal is never that, it's to help them improve and make better decisions about how the treat themselves and others. Than it has to be on, "Yay, you did it." And if a child can't really do the entire thing, for example, is unwilling to clean up the entire mess, if they spilled milk, then we say, "Oh, I will help you, we'll do it together." And if the child refuses, for example, to go get a paper towel we'll say, "Well I'll get three, and you get one, and we'll do it together." Or we might even get down on the floor together, and may be if the child just throws the paper towel on the floor than we wipe it up so that we partner with them in helping them do it. And then may be the next time it will be easier for them to do it. And then may be the next time they won't even decide to spill the milk on the floor.

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